For the past two weeks my church has been hosting their annual “At The Movies” event.
It’s something I look forward to every year and last week the featured movie was the The King’s Speech. As we watched clips from this movie, which is one of my favorites, our pastor, Lee Cummins, wove together a message about fear and how it doesn’t have to define us or determine our futures.
It was a message I needed to hear and there was one scene in particular, toward the end of the movie that spoke straight to my heart.
King George of England, who suffers from a severe stammer, is about to deliver the most important speech of his life by way of public radio. His country is about to go to war with Nazi Germany and he knows his people need to see him as someone they can trust. As he stands before the microphone his speech therapist and friend, Lionel, tells him, “Speak as though you are speaking only to me, your friend.”
For me this scene was a picture of Christ and the way He stands by us. In the midst of our fears He is there, reminding us we are not alone.
As I writer I go through phases where writing comes easy, where ideas flow freely, and inspiration can be found in anything from a dustpan on the floor to a profound moment that must be put into words. But the opposite is also true. There are plenty of times when writing comes slow, tedious, and hard. Ideas dry up. Inspiration gives way to hesitation, procrastination, complacency, doubt.
For the past month or two the progress I’m making on my book has seemed painfully slow. My blog ideas seem to fall flat. And while I feel inspired to write my chances to actually sit down and work seem few and far between.
As I write these words I can see a pattern of what “seems” to be and what actually is. And I know this is where the fear comes in. When writing becomes a challenge all kinds of fears invade my mind:
What if I never finish this book?
What if I run out ideas for my blog?
What if I’m only kidding myself with this idea of being a writer?
And when fear creeps in all kinds of doubts and accusations seem painfully true:
You’ll never publish this book and if by chance you do, NO ONE will ever read it.
You don’t have anything new or interesting to say.
Your work as a writer is pointless.
There’s one more scene from the King’s Speech that spoke to me last week. King George has just seceded the throne and in a private moment with his wife breaks down in tears saying again and again, “I’m not a king, I’m not a king, I’m not a king.”
But he was a king.
Fear, doubt, and accusations were taking over his mind, defining the way he saw himself, determining what he believed about his role as king, his future.
But none of it was true.
When I give into fear, and doubt, and accusations all I want, at least on the inside, is to sit and cry like George. With my heart in my hands I shake my head and think again and again, I’m not a writer, I’m not a writer, I’m not a writer.
But I am a writer. I’m a daughter of the king and I. Am. A Writer.
Seeing this, catching this truth in the scenes of the King’s Speech, in Pastor Lee’s message, in God’s words just for my heart, makes me feel like I can breathe again. Like I can write wholly and confidently in the truth that this writing life was His idea long before it was mine and because I am His I have nothing to fear.
And this is the truth.
So what are you afraid of? How are you letting fear define you? Control your thoughts? Determine your actions, your future?
In the face of this fear, in whatever it’s keeping you from, I hope you’ll remember King George.
I hope you’ll remember that you are a child of the King. You have nothing to fear.
With your courage, your calling, your life, you can stand before the microphone and speak as though you are speaking only to Him…your King, your Father, your Friend.
You, my dear, are a writer! An appointment from the logos himself.
Aww, Cisco! Thanks, Dad!
Jennifer – another great blog post. You are a writer! Keep trusting God and He will give you the time and ideas as you write. I hope to see you at Breathe in a couple of weeks! ~Robyn
Thanks, Robyn! Yes, I’ll be there and I can’t wait to see you too. I followed one of your Facebook links and visited your blog yesterday! It’s so great to see you writing too. Keep going, your words breathe life!
Jennifer, here’s one more “What if…” to consider: What if your book is a grand success?
I like that one! Thanks, Peter!
Fear, doubt, guilt the tools of satan and I totally let him use them on me all the time What the what?! Time to say, “NO MORE!” Thanks for the post Jen.
Totally! Thanks, Jessie!