For months we talked and planned and dreamed. We walked the property and checked with the owner time and again working toward a deal.
This dream of owning land, of building a house, of having a place to call our own has been in our hearts since the day we wed almost thirteen years ago. And really it was a dream long before then.
We’ve come close to seeing this dream realized several times throughout our marriage but somehow it always falls through.
At times this has shattered our hearts to pieces and other times it’s been okay because we knew God had better plans, but even still our hearts continue to dream and hope and long for that day, for that place all our own.
Again, this summer we thought we had it. And again this summer it didn’t work out.
Overall, we were kind of relieved when the deal didn’t go through. Too many red flags kept waving and we walked away from the land with all kinds of peace in our hearts.
I am so thankful for this but still we wonder what’s next. If not this land, this deal, then what? Will our dream ever come true?
It’s definitely been a time of trial and drawing close to God. Of choosing again and again to trust Him with our desire, to be open with our hearts, and believe His plans for us are good. To prosper and not to harm us.
And in this time of drawing close I keep hearing Him whisper a special message just for me:
Now’s the time to dream.
Having His permission to dream is both freeing and affirming. It inspires me to picture that place I long for so deeply.
To see in my minds eye (and a Pinterest board or two…okay three) that one part cabin, one part castle, one part cottage home which is so perfectly me.
To picture my bedroom, my girl’s room, my writing nook.
To picture a spacious yard for my girls to play and an apple orchard just for me.
My list of dreams goes on and on filling my heart with light and hope.
And it’s not about not being happy where I am now. Indeed it’s being more than okay with waiting to see these dreams come true, but as I wait it’s also okay to imagine, to wonder, to trust. To dream big dreams that spin me around and point me to Him.
As I dream about my someday home I’m reminded that His permission to dream also holds true in other areas of my life where I find myself waiting.
There’s the dream of another baby… perhaps a little boy.
The dream of spoiling our family and friends with trips, and blessings, and gifts galore.
And the dream of publishing my book.
So I let my mind run wild in the quiet and waiting places. In moments with Him and those Pinterest boards.
And I picture a little boy in cowboy boots who smiles just like his daddy.
I picture my parents on a cruise ship, my family in Germany, my best writing buddy and me in a tricked out glamper doing book signings from coast to coast.
I picture my book, printed on leafy pages, looking right at home on a Barnes and Noble shelf.
Will these dreams ever come true? Lord only knows…
But this I know for sure…
His heart for me is good.
His promises are true.
And now’s the time to dream.